Live from the Seneca Lodge Bar

I'm going to go against the norm today and talk about a subject that has been beaten to death this week but myself and my fellow blog-writer found it SO utterly wonderful that there is no way to ignore it.
The issue I'm speaking of is Jeff "the Goon" Gordon trying to level Matt "the Brat" Kenseth on pit road.
What can I say, to me it was the highlight in an otherwise semi-snorer of a race complete with whiney Roushkateers and Kevin Harvick doing his best to get on the front page any way he can considering he hasn't driven for shit this year (That's really tough of Harvdick to take on a guy who's about the size of a pipe cleaner).

I like Jeff, I admit it. When I was a new fan to the sport I wouldn't think I would. Personally, I wasn't sure if it was SAFE to like him. I didn't know alot about NASCAR but one thing I did know was the amount of hatred geared at the guy. When people would ask me "Are you a Jeff Gordon fan?" my response would be a quick and deliberate "NO". I'm not afraid anymore. Granted, I don't consider myself a "fan" of his anyway. Fan is short for fanatic and I'm not fanatical about anybody (except maybe Bootie Barker but that's a story for another time!) .

As my knowledge of NASCAR grew I kept an eye on the guy in the Dupont uni. Seemed like a nice enough dude; clean-cut, well spoken and was winning every race in sight. So why did people hate him so much? Is it because, as Jeff Foxworthy put it, he enunciates? Is it because he wasn't born and raised below the Manson-Nixon line?
It has to be because he's a winner. Our society loves nothing more than to take someone successful and beat them down in order to make ourselves feel better. Personally, I think ANY NASCAR fan who had a moment to be in his presence wouldn't scoff at him. It's easy to boo from the stands but unless you're a drunken, stupid baffoon, you wouldn't get in his grill when near him. Most likely you'd be fishing in your clear backpack for a Sharpie and a piece of paper.

The thing is, Jeff is probably the most approachable star at the track. I don't mean semi-star... I mean MAJOR star. Dale Jr. is surrounded by guards and entourages, Jimmie Johnson rarely peeks his head out other than to run to his car and Matt Kenseth; I hate to break it to you but the guy is about as friendly on race weekend as a skunk with a hemorrhoid!

I've met Jeff numerous times and have never been brushed off, ignored or pushed aside. If ANYONE has the right to be a dick, it's Jeff and he's anything but.
So seeing him with his helmet on shock the shit out of Matt-Brat with that shove was something DREAMS are made of. Jeffy being un-PC and un-Brian France-NASCAR like and giving it to him.

Note to The Brat: Jeff was seen a couple days later at a New York Rangers game at Madison Square Garden. Look out! He may be getting some tips from guys who can brawl on skates (and I'm sure they can show him how to get his helmet off in two clicks).

I'm in your corner Jeff. DING, DING, DING!

"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. "
-Scottish Proverb

Indy Racing League rookie Paul Dana died today in an accident at Homestead Speedway in Miami. While not as well known as his pulchritudinous teammate Danica Patrick, Dana was a grassroots favorite with the media. Educated at Northwestern University, Dana was a motorsports journalist who had been bitten by the racing bug. When he landed a ride with the high profile team of Rahal Letterman Racing for the 2006 season, it looked like Dana was actually going to make his dream of a full time racing career a reality. Until today.

Many in the news media have compared today's events to the untimely death of Dale Earnhardt in 2001, however, this reminds me of something different.

It was October 9, 2002. I was in Charlotte for the weekend for the UAW-GM Quality 500 at Lowe's Motor Speedway. I emerged from our hotel to hear the sweet sound of those Chevrolets, Dodges, and Fords roaring around the track during morning ARCA practice. We had planned to attend a charity event in Sherrills Ford that Michael Waltrip was hosting, so that sound in the distance was as close as I was going to get to the track. However, as I would learn later, I should be grateful I was in Sherrills Ford on that day.

Midway through ARCA practice, Eric Martin, a driver from Hixson, Tennessee, made contact with the outside wall and had slid down the track. When his car came to a stop at the bottom of the track, Deborah Renshaw came off of four and broadsided Martin's car. He was killed instantly.

Since Martin's death, the sanctioning body now requires spotters to be in the spotter's stands above the track during practices, an important safety change that was desperately needed.

It is not lost on me how horrible it was for a 33 year old married father of two young children to lose his life so tragically. But the thing is that Eric Martin died doing what he loved, and there has to be a certain respect for that.

Fate is a cruel mistress, and sometimes she reminds us that we must live our lives as though we are on our last day. Paul Dana was pursuing his dream, and died doing what he loved. That, my friends, is truly living.

Our heartfelt condolences to the Dana family and Rahal Letterman Racing.

It's no secret that the administrative antics of Brian France drive me nuts. So I decided it was time to take a peek inside that diabolical mind that is running NASCAR's heritage into the ground and ask... What would Brian France do?

Top Ten Things on Brian France's "To Do" List:

1. Replace campgrounds around the speedways with golf courses

2. Call in bomb threats to Bristol and Richmond to move their races to California

3. Appoint Tony Stewart as Director of Media Relations

4. Four words... California Restrictor Plate Track

5. Implement use of "Applause-O-Meter" to determine the race winner

6. Ban beer from races in favor of mimosas and wine spritzers

7. Move the Awards Banquet to Hollywood, with entertainment by Clay Aiken

8. Turkey legs to be replaced by assorted brie and cracker trays

9. Divert all funding from R&D to the Dale Earnhardt Jr. cloning project

10. Relinquish control of the sanctioning body to the United Arab Emirates

So what excitement did NASCAR have in store for us this past weekend? Another snoozer of a race. The only interesting part was the last lap. Thank you JJ for pulling off that win instead of leaving it for one of the hum-drum foursome. (sorry, I still can't seem to put McMurray into the Roush camp...maybe somehow the rest of them will suck his personality right out of his brainstem)
A few random thoughts:
I saw Kurt Busch on Trackside and I want to know where he got his personality transplant. He's still painful to look at but he was practically charming!
Poor Bootie Barker. That show NASCAR Performance is about as interesting as a hang-nail. Even HE seemed dis-interested this week.
The anthem wasn't as bad as usual but the best part of pre-race was the camera shot from the Thunderbirds flying overhead.
And the quote of the weekend goes to Tony Stewart. Speaking about his run-in w/that jackass Kyle Busch. "You know how I get sometimes. Sometimes it's an advantage when I get this pissed off." Yeah, last time it only won you a championship!

Well, here's hoping that getting back to the east coast will somehow get the season out of it's early hybernation. Where's the Red Bull car when we need it?

We couldn't help but wonder... did Matt Kenseth send this to Tony after Daytona?
WE LOVE YA, SMOKE!

I am convinced that it is written in Brian France's job description that he must do everything in his power to piss me off.

The Busch Series is running in Mexico City today at a road course not unlike Sears Point or our beloved Watkins Glen. Thus, the inevitable question has arisen: when will the Nextel Cup race in Mexico City?

Although France indicated a couple of weeks ago that Nextel Cup isn't going to Mexico City in the near future, you know he can smell the money to be made and the opportunity to alienate the core fans even further.

Anyone who has been to a race has seen the average NASCAR fan, and let me assure you, they aren't sitting by that camper having afternoon tea and cucumber sandwiches. They're barbecuing and drinking Bud Light. Some of these people save up an entire year to attend one of these events, which are becoming increasingly expensive to attend. France's bottomless lust for money is making NASCAR downright unaffordable to its core fans, and I can't help but wonder if this is his way of cleansing NASCAR of its lowbrow contingent.

Another aspect that France obviously doesn't give a damn about is the financial toll this kind of expansion will take on the teams. Once again, France seeks to weed out the smaller teams with lesser funding in favor of the powerhouse teams with full coffers. In his mind, bigger teams bring bigger R&D budgets, bring bigger talent, ultimately bringing bigger advertising dollars into his pocket. Either that, or France gets some twisted amusement out of watching the poor hauler drivers deal with the U.S. Border patrol. Let's not forget the Mexican "Police" and their interpretation of law and order. I've heard some very interesting stories about these folks from my dad from his Baja days, and it would seem it pays to avoid the Mexican pork at all costs. So it makes perfect sense to send millions of dollars of equipment into a third world country. I'm sure they don't stand out as targets to the banditos.

It is said that genuine wisdom lies is knowing one's limitations, so if this is true, Brian France is the dumbest man on the planet. You're fucking up NASCAR, Brian. Go to the NFL, for the love of God, before this great racing series becomes unrecognizable. I think T.O. is just your speed!

And another thing... fuck California Speedway... Hollywood's taste is fickle at best and ultimately doesn't give a shit about NASCAR. Bring back Rockingham and bring back the Labor Day weekend Southern 500 to Darlington. Bring back the NASCAR we knew and loved.

Normally I'd be bitching about how NASCAR drivers seem to wear the ugliest sunglasses. I know Jamie Mac had a habit last year of wearing nasty looking ones on purpose. (maybe it helped sales, who knows)
What's worse is they seem to wear them on race day so when the camera pans by..EEGADS!! They must all have a contract with their sunglass sponsor saying that they will wear them when they're the MOST visible. Which I understand; there are more people at the track on Sundays and there are more people watching on the tube on Sundays. Just pick a good looking pair, that's all I ask.
In the case of this picture, considering the subject matter...it's too fucking bad that the specs weren't BIGGER: Say the size of a satellite dish!!!